Santa Sam Simmons solves YOUR Christmas problems

Sam Simmons
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Move over, Dear Deidre: we’re after problems for festive problems for Sam Simmons to solve...

EDIT: Sam solved all your problems. Here are your answers.
 
Do you know who you want to get on solving your Christmas issues? An Australian absurdist who has previously had a show called PROBLEMS, that’s who. And luckily, we’ve got just such a man - Santa Sam Simmons - on hand to answer your (almost certainly ridiculous) problems in the next few days.
 
(We were going to label him Uncle Sam throughout this process but apparently that’s already taken.)
 
By way of example, we need to find someone to water The Official SSP Poinsettia while no-one's here over Christmas, but we're scared of our neighbours. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?
 
What problems do YOU have for Christmas this year? Let us know on Twitter, Facebook or drop us an email and we’ll soon get them sorted...
 
If you’d like to get them addressed in person, you could always try asking Sam, who’s at the Soho Theatre until 5 January, FYI. Although he’s now doing a show called About The Weather, so perhaps he won’t. You can alternatively read our last interview with Sam to see how HE deals with his problems, if you like.
 
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Sam Simmons
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The problems they have is

The problems they have is really good. They should get ourselves used to this one. - Steven Wyer

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